I’m pretty sure that my bifocals are trying to kill me. To give you a little background, I now have to have bifocal lenses in my glasses because I work too much on the computer and look at my iPhone too often (getting the “smartphone chins” to top it all off) and my eyes, which were a bit on the weak side anyway, have started to complain. I actually get an instant headache if I try to use my laptop without finding my glasses and sometimes my iPhone screen, viewed with naked ‘balls, makes me feel dizzy and physically sick.
(I just have to revisit that last sentence, because I’ve never actually seen eyeballs shortened to ‘balls before, but I quite like it. Especially coupled with the naked part. I mean, viewing the iPhone with naked balls is something quite different, it’s critical you use the appropriate apostrophe. But it’s obvious that I mean sans-spectacles – I’m not sitting there with my ‘nads out. I don’t even have balls.) So anyway, my glasses are bifocals which basically means that they have a big area of normal lens, call it the “pedestrian” strength part, and then a section at the bottom of the lense that gives me what could only be described as superhuman vision. Looking through the lower portion of my glasses I can spy on small insects that are crawling around in the Australian outback, I can see individual DNA spirals in a petri dish, I can even – and this is the most sta...