If you’ve ever wondered how hardy kids’ clothing is, then let me tell you that it does not withstand being repeatedly sandpapered. A couple of weeks ago we went to visit Mr AMR’s cousin and she had a ramp in the garden for her little dog, who is quite old and can’t jump up and down the step to the patio. Ted obviously took an immediate shine to this ramp and spent two and a half hours sliding down it and then trotting back up.
I should have realised, really, that the ramp wasn’t suitable for sliding, because Ted was having to put a hell of a lot of effort into the downwards journey – I mean a slide is called a slide for a reason isn’t it" The whole point of a slide is that there’s very little in the way of friction so that you can enjoy the sensation of temporary near-flight. Wheeee! But it wasn’t a slide, it was a ramp, as I’ve already detailed, and not only was it not a slide, it was a not-slide that had been covered in sandpaper to stop the little dog’s paws from slipping on the slope. Well! I worked this out just a few seconds before the seat of Ted’s dungarees wore through completely. There were only a couple of strands of fabric holding the backside of the garment together and his nappy (partially shredded) was shining through. The nappy was quite warm to the touch – smouldering, in fact, and would probably have burst into flames had I noticed any later that Ted was basically acting li...