Sunday Tittle Tattle: Don’t Mess With My Shower
Listen, if you ever come to my house then you’ll be pretty well looked after. I’ll hang a nice dressing gown on the back of the guest room door. You can eat the last of my cereal, drink from my special mug, take the magazine part of the Sunday newspaper before I’ve read it, leaving me with just the boring bits for the following two hours. You can borrow my slippers, put your feet up on the sofa, make yourself completely at home: just don’t mess with my shower settings.
Do people not realise that a well-set shower, at just the right temperature (one that won’t burn off the top layer of your skin but is also not that awful, depressingly tepid sort of warmish that makes you feel as though you’re waiting for a bus in a rain storm) is a thing of absolute beauty" That you can just step in through those doors and know, with utter confidence, that the water is precisely to your liking" Do people also not realise that finding the correct shower setting is a fine art" Those professional robbers who sit next to the bank safe slowly twirling the dial and listening through the door with a stethoscope – that’s me! That’s me finding the right temperature! If it then gets inexpertly adjusted by some shower-ignoramus, the next time I want to have a wash I first have to stand in the stall like a naked buffoon, turning the knob a fraction of a millimetre at a time, enduring mediocre, imperfect water temperatures until...
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