I fear I’m late to the party with the boilersuit trend. Praise be, frankly, because they all look dreadful on me. I can’t see what all the fuss is about – even when they don’t look outrageously unflattering they still make a lot of people look like a Super Mario brother.
And before a million people get all offended again (you should have seen my DMs on Instagram after I slagged off leggings as outerwear!) I’m not criticising people for wearing boilersuits, I’m criticising the boilersuits themselves. Satan’s overalls. If you took a boilersuit and chopped it in half, you would be left with the world’s two most unappealing fashion items: a cropped denim jacket and high-rise, relaxed-fit, elasticated Mom jeans.
I can tell you now that the boilersuit has been specifically designed by sadists to accentuate everything you don’t want to accentuate and to lose the rest of you in a swathe of thick, starchy denim. Actually – retraction –  the boilersuit wasn’t designed by sadists, it was first made, I’m sure, by very practical people to serve an important purpose which was to provide suitable workwear for people who require hardwearing garments. That’s right folks – workwear! It’s as much an appropriate fashion item as surgeons’ scrubs would be, or, I don’t know, chef’s whites. (Mind you, look at how well Crocs did.)
Before we go any further I’d like to draw a qui...