There’s a mole catcher who’s well known around these parts of Somerset and he has the most amazing advert printed on the back of his van. I’d never managed to get a photo of it before, but the other day he happened to be in front of us and so I summoned up all of my steady-handedness in order to take a clear picture:

No Mole No Fee.
Surely it has to be one of the best slogans of any business in the UK" I mean it’s just so…niche. There’s something so casually presumptive about it – as though having a no-show mole is an everyday occurrence. Or, indeed, that having a mole at all is just a mundane everyday occurrence.
What fascinates me the most is the criteria for this particular offer. No Mole No Fee. What are the T&Cs at play here" Is it like with lawyers, with no win no fee, and there are certain caveats and exclusions" Do you get charged, for example, if the mole is caught and then escapes again" And what constitutes “no mole”"  Can someone call out Mole Catcher knowing full well that there’s no mole to be seen" Just for japes" I suppose that you’d be a strange person if you actually did that, but it would make for a terrible business plan for the Catcher if they were constantly popping in at people’s houses for absolutely no reason. “Morning! Got a mole needs catching then"”
“Nope.”
“OK no worries: no mole no fee! You hav...