Angelica, aged three and eight months, has taken to telling us all precisely what she is not. We’ve had this before, when she first learnt her name – or a shortened version of her name; “I not hungry, Daddy, I La-La!” “I not cute, Granny, I La-La!” “I not testing your patience today Mummy, I am La-La.” But this is a different game, a year or so on, and I suppose it stems from her trying to constantly put her growing vocabulary into practice. It involves her drawing a comparison between herself and a (mostly inanimate) object and then rejecting the comparison and it usually happens when Ted is doing something vaguely annoying/violent to her.
For example, when Ted (two years and one month old) was trying to climb onto the same chair and using her as a pull-up support, she shouted “No Ted! Stop using me to steady yourself, I’m not a rope! I’m not a rope, Teddy!”
When he tried to put all of his dinosaurs into her nightie, “Stop, Ted – I’m not a pocket!”
“Ted, Ted, stop it, I’m not a slide!” “I’m not a mat Ted, stop treading on me!” “I’m not a cake Ted, don’t munch on me!”
Ooh, I feel a new book idea coming on. Instead of That’s Not My…. it could be I’m Not Your [insert name of object]. I’m Not Your Bed, Ted (Don’t Lie On Me).

Anyway, the reason I’m telling you this anecdote, which ...