Eyeliner lover Lauren Oakey only went and got it tattooed on. She explains what in God?s name she was thinking.

Years ago, I got an email from a friend who was travelling in Thailand, featuring a full rundown of her recent appointment in a local tattoo parlour. Her tattoo was eyeliner. Top and bottom. I read the email open-mouthed, using the face I did when I watched Un Chien Andalou as I imagined all sorts of ways this could?ve gone very badly wrong. So I?m as surprised now as I was then (see the plentiful AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHS in my reply to her) that I am now the proud owner of two tattooed eyes (one, frankly, just seemed silly).
I was offered the chance to try some semi-permanent makeup from Divinity makeup by the very lovely Michaela at the Treatment Rooms in Brighton, who calmed my perfectly reasonable skeeved-outness. I love tattoos and have two on my arms with more definitely to come, but the needle, bearable after a shot of whisky and some loud, loud music in my headphones on the bus there, was to now touch my, you know, eye. Michaela guided me through the process and answered my many questions about what was about to happen.I was assured that the only slight pain would be some soreness afterwards and possibly manic itching from the healing process, so off we went. First she applied anaesthetic cream to my eyelid. After a twenty minute wait to let it take effect, I lay on the bed and a needle was run though my lash line to break the skin (bear with me), before anothe...